July

My least favorite month of the year.

As I am stuck in the airport in Dallas, it has become clear to me why I missed my plane this morning, why my next flight had mechanical trouble causing me to miss two more connecting flights and why I have to spend six hours sitting here at DWF. I needed some time to decompress, to cry at will (no one here cares!) to think and ponder, to hope that some one really,really needed my seat on the 5 flights that I was at one time booked on and missed, and to remember, reflect and rejoice.

It was a whirlwind weekend as the first leg of journey was also a little bumpy with airport troubles, I arrived several hours late on Sunday afternoon in Texas for my grandma’s funeral. Greeted by all of my immediate family, the late entrance was soon forgotten.

Jodi, Sherri, Carrie and me!
I am the oldest, hence the most bossy.

I spent the night in a hotel room with all three of my sisters and one niece and one nephew. It was the first time all four of us stayed in a room together since 1994. It was a welcomed reunion. We had a great evening laughing at stupid jokes and mocking each other. It was good to find out that while we are all very, very different, we are also all very, very the same. My heart hurts a little thinking…will there be a time when we get to do that again?

Radley and Sabrina (just two of my nieces and nephews)

Grandma’s funeral was a beautiful tribute to the Glory of God and a reflection of her life. My cousin Jen played a beautiful violin solo of a song my grandma had requested (she not only wrote her own obituary, but also planned her own funeral several years ago!) Several other songs she requested were sung. My sister Carrie beautifully accompanied my attempt at honoring my Grandma with a song. While I can sing, I am certainly not a singer but Carrie, who sings professionally was of great encouragement, regardless of how I really sounded! My uncle Kelly shared the following poem. Recited with such holy intensity, it was very moving and haunting all at the same time. We can not attend a funeral without facing our own mortality. Whether you look to your death with joy, fear or indifference, death will come. Are you ready?

Go Down, Death
by James Weldon Johnson (names and places edited)

Weep not, weep not,
She is not dead;
She’s resting in the bosom of Jesus.
Heart-broken husband–weep no more;
Grief-stricken son–weep no more;
Left-lonesome daughter –weep no more;
She only just gone home
Day before yesterday morning,
God was looking down from his great,
high heaven,
Looking down on all his children,
And his eye fell of Sister Daphna,
Tossing on her bed of pain.
And God’s big heart was touched with pity,
With the everlasting pity.
And God sat back on his throne,
And he commanded that tall,
bright angel standing at his right hand:
Call me Death!
And that tall, bright angel cried in a voice
That broke like a clap of thunder:
Call Death!–Call Death!
And the echo sounded down the streets of heaven
Till it reached away back to that shadowy place,
Where Death waits with his pale, white horses.
And Death heard the summons,
And he leaped on his fastest horse,
Pale as a sheet in the moonlight.
Up the golden street Death galloped
,And the hooves of his horses struck fire from the gold,
But they didn’t make no sound.
Up Death rode to the Great White Throne,
And waited for God’s command.
And God said: Go down,
Death, go down,
Go down to Odessa Texas
And find Sister Daphna
She’s borne the burden and heat of the day,
She’s labored long in my vineyard,
And she’s tired–She’s weary–
Go down, Death, and bring her to me.
And Death didn’t say a word,
But he loosed the reins on his pale, white horse,
And he clamped the spurs to his bloodless sides,
And out and down he rode,
Through heaven’s pearly gates,
Past suns and moons and stars;
on Death rode,
Leaving the lightning’s flash behind;
Straight down he came.
While we were watching round her bed,
She turned her eyes and looked away,
She saw what we couldn’t see;
She saw Old Death.
She saw Old Death
Coming like a falling star.
But Death didn’t frighten Sister Daphna;
He looked to her like a welcome friend.
And she whispered to us: I’m going home,
And she smiled and closed her eyes.
And Death took her up like a baby,
And she lay in his icy arms,
But she didn’t feel no chill.
And death began to ride again–
Up beyond the evening star,
Into the glittering light of glory,
On to the Great White Throne.
And there he laid Sister Daphna
On the loving breast of Jesus.
And Jesus took his own hand and wiped away her tears,
And he smoothed the furrows from her face,
And the angels sang a little song,
And Jesus rocked her in his arms,
And kept a-saying:
Take your rest,Take your rest.
Weep not–weep not,
She is not dead;
She’s resting in the bosom of Jesus.